One of the most important things for a family to remember is that plans can change. Almost never does a birth go exactly as expected. After all, babies are people too, and they have their own needs, wants, and agendas. While I encourage clients to write a birth plan, I also encourage families to put on their birth plan, "We understand that things can change, and decisions may need to be made to protect the safety of mother and baby" - or something to that effect.
Sometimes, I will encourage a mama to ask her care provider about a range of scenarios, such as what to expect in the case of an induction, an epidural, or a c-section. While most of my clients work to achieve a natural, unmedicated birth, it's important in the emotional preparation to understand what might happen, and how to handle that. Nobody wants a mama to get to a point where she needs medical intervention, and for that mama to say, "But nobody told me." Lack of knowledge can make someone feel scared, out of control, angry, or helpless. None of those are feelings you want on your baby's birth day!
There are cases in which the baby's "plan" for itself is simply preventing progress from happening. If the baby is poorly positioned, not descending into the birth canal, or if there is a mysterious fever, for example - these are cases in which the plan needs to change so that we can have a safe, happy delivery. Sometimes, the plan changes because of a desired outcome - if the mama wishes to deliver with her midwife but is approaching 42 weeks (where most midwives must transfer care back to an OB), we may discuss induction techniques. There are, of course, emergent cases as well. Those must be handled quickly to assure a positive outcome for all involved.
There are also times when mama chooses a different path for herself. After hours of painful back labor, for example, a mama may simply need a break. This isn't considered "giving up" - it's about knowing your limitations and doing the very best you can! A mama may realize she no longer wants any family in the delivery room, or that she wishes to use positions she previously thought she'd hate. She may decide that an hour of bonding isn't enough, and the family needs to wait longer to meet the new arrival. Or she may find that breastfeeding is unsuccessful for the first few days and she needs to pump breastmilk and bottle feed until a problem is corrected. None of these are bad changes, simply a difference in the plan.
The most important point I try to make with my clients is that, while we will try hard to provide you with the birth experience that you seek, there are on guarantees in life. This is never more true than in birth. Babies, healthcare providers, families, mothers' bodies - they all work together in a dance, and when one element proves to be "sticky," plans change. If you plan on your plan changing, you will be well prepared to handle labor.
Sometimes, I will encourage a mama to ask her care provider about a range of scenarios, such as what to expect in the case of an induction, an epidural, or a c-section. While most of my clients work to achieve a natural, unmedicated birth, it's important in the emotional preparation to understand what might happen, and how to handle that. Nobody wants a mama to get to a point where she needs medical intervention, and for that mama to say, "But nobody told me." Lack of knowledge can make someone feel scared, out of control, angry, or helpless. None of those are feelings you want on your baby's birth day!
There are cases in which the baby's "plan" for itself is simply preventing progress from happening. If the baby is poorly positioned, not descending into the birth canal, or if there is a mysterious fever, for example - these are cases in which the plan needs to change so that we can have a safe, happy delivery. Sometimes, the plan changes because of a desired outcome - if the mama wishes to deliver with her midwife but is approaching 42 weeks (where most midwives must transfer care back to an OB), we may discuss induction techniques. There are, of course, emergent cases as well. Those must be handled quickly to assure a positive outcome for all involved.
There are also times when mama chooses a different path for herself. After hours of painful back labor, for example, a mama may simply need a break. This isn't considered "giving up" - it's about knowing your limitations and doing the very best you can! A mama may realize she no longer wants any family in the delivery room, or that she wishes to use positions she previously thought she'd hate. She may decide that an hour of bonding isn't enough, and the family needs to wait longer to meet the new arrival. Or she may find that breastfeeding is unsuccessful for the first few days and she needs to pump breastmilk and bottle feed until a problem is corrected. None of these are bad changes, simply a difference in the plan.
The most important point I try to make with my clients is that, while we will try hard to provide you with the birth experience that you seek, there are on guarantees in life. This is never more true than in birth. Babies, healthcare providers, families, mothers' bodies - they all work together in a dance, and when one element proves to be "sticky," plans change. If you plan on your plan changing, you will be well prepared to handle labor.
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